


Never Love

by DekuPrince



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aromantic Gon, Demiromantic Killua, Other, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2015-06-18
Packaged: 2018-04-04 22:13:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4154922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DekuPrince/pseuds/DekuPrince
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Falling in love is different for everyone. And some don't fall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Love

Gon uncharacteristically turns his face away from Killua. A rueful smile is distorting his mouth, something that he wants but fails to hide away. He scratches at his cheek before smoothing his fingers over his lips, finally covering his initial reaction. 

  
“I knew Killua felt that way, but. . .” Rejection hits Killua in the chest. Played out by him rocking onto his heels, hands now in his pockets, allowing it to be his turn to look away.  
  


“That’s cool,” he replies smoothly.  
  


“Ah, I’m sorry!” Gon does look apologetic, hand dropping so that it can clench at his side. He tries to step back into Killua’s line of sight, scrabbling to stay in front of him when Killua tries to look away in the other direction. “I care about Killua more than anyone else! But.”  
  


Gon never makes excuses for himself. He’s stubborn and unabashed in both his opinion and how he feels, so the second use of the word ‘but’ finally draws Killua back to focusing on Gon’s face.  
  


“I’ve never felt like that. Not for anybody.” Gon murmurs. “Is that weird? I think it would be nice to love someone, like in the movies, but, ah. I’ve never felt like that before. I just know I like being with you best out of anyone ever, and spending time with you.”  
  


“It’s not weird.” Killua doesn’t elaborate, but he means it. There’s no one he’s ever met that stirred even a hint of what he feels for Gon. He’s never gotten close enough, and honestly, he’s not sure when, or if, he ever will again.  
  


Killua had been hoping the reason Gon never showed interest in anyone was because he liked Killua and maybe, bone headedly, never realized that‘s what it was. Knowing that‘s not the case seems to make more sense though. Somehow. “Anyways. It’s cool, like I said.  
  


“Friends no matter what, right?” Gon immediately beams, nodding and enthused Killua isn’t pushing him away, at least.  
  


“Right! Always!” Killua can’t help the small smile. Something he didn’t think he’d be doing so soon with the sudden pit he feels starting to yawn in his chest A part of him wants to run away, a huge part. The feeling of loss and rejection is growing rapidly the more it sinks in and it’s suffocating him.  
  


Through a surprising amount of willpower Killua endures it. He spends the rest of the day sightseeing with Gon just like he’d promised he would, and Gon makes sure to take care not to leave Killua alone with his thoughts for more than a few moments. The rueful smile appears on his face several more times, along with frustrated frowns when he doesn’t think Killua is looking.  
  


Neither of them are happy about the lack of mutual feelings, or in Gon’s case the consequences of it, and Killua feels terrible that it makes him feel a little better. Gon feeling bad should never make him happy, less alone.  
  


Gon asks once more before bed, quiet into the dark of night, if Killua is really okay with it. He’s not, but he’ll get over it, so he lies easily for Gon’s sake. Maybe a little for himself, like if he says it enough there will eventually be truth in it.  
  


Eventually there will have to be.  



End file.
